Wednesday, August 22, 2007

They never stop

I've had about all I can take of my inlaws. My nosey, back stabbing, better than everyone, idiotic in laws. First let me give you some background info on these people who judge everyone. They have no right to judge anyone. Not by any means. Lets start with my FIL.

He quit school in the 6th grade. I believe this was common back when he was a child though. However I question how he got to the 6th grade. He knows not how to write or read. He can however sign his name. He was one of 4 kids. His mother died when he was in early adulthood. His father was a useless prick as well. Mean, ruthless, callous, yet hard working. The man showed no love for anyone. Which was the basics for an iron worker back in the day. Back to FIL. This man became your typical bad ass and the cops knew him by name. He was in and out of bars in his late teens and early adult life. He was known around here as a bad ass. There was some major altercation one I have never been given the details of and he was told to settle downa nd start a life or he was going to see prison time. His options were army, family, prison. He chose family. However with limitations! He started dating dh's bio mom. They were married with the assumption of no kids. She already had one child coming into the marriage. FIL said NO MORE KIDS and when he found out she was pregnant with my now dh he beat her. They had a love hate relationship for a long while. 7-8 years. There are rumors of public fights between them. Him being a drunk and her being just as bad. He beat her alot. Though my now MIL will claim it never happened but every person i've ever met who has known this man said it did. When dh was 9 my FIL ran off with another woman. Left one day when he was supposed to be at work. Left a note stating he wasnt coming back and was gone over a year. I'm told he was gone longer but my Now MIL states this is false.. I'm not sure if I believe her.

Anyhow. He ran off with his best friends wife. He and his best friend had been friends for a very long time. Their kids were raised together. THey were in a business together and one day he ran off with his wife. The two men have not spoken since. My FIL worked construction for years after. Came in and out of dh's life. When he saw his ex wife was out of control and a drunk he came back into the picture moving him and his new wife in next door to dh's bio mom and dh. You can probably imagine the shit this caused. Dh's bio mom flew even further out of control. She was a drunk. Alcohol consumed her life. She was wallowing in heart ache. Writing this now I feel for her. I didnt years ago but she over came her problems later in life and eventually died of ovarian cancer. Its hard to not feel for her now. I know what she dealt with and what turned her into that former creature.

Anyhow.. FIL right? He tried to pick up where he had left off with Dh. Their relationship rocky. Dh has never forgiven him for running off with his now step mom. Did I mention that the lady FIL ran off with.. Was also his wife's best friend? See the 2 couples were best friends with each other. The 2 women did everything together and the 2 men did everything together. They were never apart.. It was like one big happy family only 2 people had no clue their spouses were cheating. Sounds confusing right.. Its pretty warped.. Not only did FIL run off with his best friends wife but he ran off with his wife's best friend. Anyhow..

Moving on. When I came into the picture almost 10 years ago FIL and dh got along half ass. We of course live next door to the inlaws. FIL is an old bitter man. A bitter shell of what he once was. An illiterate asshole who can't see past the tip of his nose. He thinks he is better than the world. Not only does he think he is better than the world. He has people who are scared of him and always has been. He has this no nonsense attitude and bullheaded ,"I'll kick your ass. you dont fuck with me" way about him. And people bow down to him. People do not fuck with him. Its like the mob. What he says goes. He almost has his own lil cult with his own lil rules. He now lives his days in pain. Pain that the drs say they can't find a cause for. They have "washed their hands of him" Hey its the drs words not mine! They literally could not find a reason for his pain. I however know the reason. Its payback for everything he has inflicted on every person he has ever hurt. Its payback for being what he has been and what he still is. I feel nothing for this man. No sympathy, no pity, NOTHING.

There are 3 people in this world that I know my FIL loves. And I know with out those 3 people his world crumbles. I have 2 of those people and he hates me for it. One is his son and one is his oldest grandchild. The others he could care less about. He cares about her and her only . The 3rd is his now wife. She swears he has never laid a hand on her. I dont know if I believe her. Its really not worth pressing. But he does love her. That much I can see. He holds her up on a pedestal above everyone else. However saying that.. Means little to me. He treats her like shit. He barks orders at her all day long. he doesnt do a damn thing for himself. NOT ONE THING. He has her get his tea, dial the phone for him and anything else he beckons for and she does it. Its how she was raised. I kid you not. He rattles the ice in his cup and she goes running to fetch him more tea..

The man is old school thinking. He believes women are to be seen not heard. He believes women should work at home and no where else. He believes men are to control the house and the world. Women are not to have opinions or freedoms. Men own them. Women are property. However this is not how he was raised. His mother was a very very intelligent woman. She was a RN. She worked every day and was known for her kindness and caring. Then after work she came home and dealt with everyone elses crap and believe me.. Those 4 kids dealt out some crap!

Now my FIL hates me. And I could care less. However I've given him no real reason to hate me. He liked me until I married dh. We lived together for a year and half before getting married. FIL had no problems with me till i signed the marriage certificate. At that point. I was property! To be owned not only by dh but by FIL as well. BUT i didnt think like that you see. I didnt bow down and kiss his ass nor my dh's. I didnt mold myself to my MIL's life. I didnt fit into their world. Not only did I refuse to cater to them as a slave but I had opinions and was independent. I had a voice. I knew politics and my rights and I had a job!!!!!!! I wasnt soft spoken. I didnt sit back quietly and OMG I owned a computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Computer is the devil!!!!!! The devil I tell ya! See I didnt fit his world.. I still dont. For this reason my FIL has stated the land we live on will never be given to my dh as long as he is married to me and FIL is alive. We've needed this land put into our name for many reasons (lower property taxes for one!). FIL has said no. He doesnt want me to be able to get it if we ever divorce.. I got news for the ass.. I could care less about his land or anything else he owns. I could care less about him. If he died in a day or two I wouldnt grieve. I would however feel for my kids. My heart would break for them because for some reason they love that ass. They are still too young to see the error of his ways. And I refuse to talk badly about him infront of them. I refuse to poison them with my words like he has done to them about me.

My MIL even though she ran off with her best friends husband.. Is not a bad person. She is just in a fucked up world. Yet she knows no other world. Just this one. She drives me insane though. She is nosey and can be rude. But all this is of course due to fil's prodding. He controls her every move. Please keep that in mind. He controls her thoughts and feelings. she has no opinions remember.

The other day my sister was over visiting. My MIL calls and says," Who is over at your house?" I could hear FIL in the back ground yelling,"It better not be who I think it is" and that I better tell them who is over here. I asked her why was she reporting to someone? She said,"because we think its ______ and you shouldn't have her over there! Not on our property! You know how (FIL) is."

I was flabbergasted. I was so mad I was blowing steam. I wanted to reach through the phone and knock FIL into next year.. This is MY HOUSE. They do not tell me who i can and cant have over here! Regardless! This happens every time a car is in my driveway and dh is at work. EVERY SINGLE TIME. They call to find out who is here. Or they walk outside and wait till the person leaves to see who it is. It never stops.

Labels: inlaws

Posted by Ivy :: 3:01 AM :: 1 Comments:

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