Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Inlaws strike again!

Yes they struck again!. Yesterday diva had a drs appt to be screened for add.. It was just a screening. She is failing badly in school. I asked my MIL to get bug off the bus if i'm not back in time.. Shes aid she didnt know.. I said okay i'll get will to do it. Well she calls me when i'm in line waiting to get jewel from school and my FIL is cussing me in the background and she says,"is the school making you do this" I said nope. She said so the school isnt making you do this. I said no by law they can not suggest I do this. And fil is in the background telling me ," I'm fixing to start some shit. You dont know who you're fucking with.You dont want to fuck with me. You want to see some shit started i'm fixing to start some. This is my fucking business!" and my MIL says,"Well you arent fixing to put her on meds" I said ,"no one said anything about meds." and FIL starts in on his rant again. and MIL says,"Your DH said that it was the school making you do this." I told her again no the school wasnt making me do anything. FIl starts yelling again. I told her Fine.. Just forget it i'll get bug off the bus and deal with it myself dont bother. She says well whats the problem. I said,"the problem is you two trying to raise MY KID. She is MY KID. MY responsbility and I decide what is best for MY KID" she hung up on me..

Basically they wouldnt get bug off the bus because of what i was taking diva to the dr for..I called dh and started yelling at him telling him he better get his fucked up dad in track or else.. He said he had already talked to them. I said yeah BEFORE they called me cussing me. He asked what he did.. I told him.. He said he'd get bug off the bus for me to take her and not to worry about it..

This man has already attacked me once. What the hell am I supposed to expect.. next time i'll have his ass arrested though it wont do a lick of good considering his cousin is a fucking judge ..

Labels: inlaws, kids

Posted by Ivy :: 3:31 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Too clean cut..

Is there a such thing as being too clean cut? Too good? To organized?

I think so. I went to the pharmacy the other day. I'm not used to coming into contact with people like this. This guy was something else. He wasnt what I'd normally consider attractive. Not by far. But something about him called out to me. He had a voice that was very soft spoken but when he spoke. He looked directly into your eyes. His voice was very alluring. He didnt talk at you. He spoke INTO you. Maybe I Imagined it but his eyes said he knew it too.

Everything about this guy was too neat. Too uncomplicated. Too clean. Too organized. His glasses were perfect. His hair was perfect. His posture perfect. His shirt ironed and crisp. His entire look perfect. I bet his shoe laces were tied directly in the middle with his loops being perfectly even too. Everything about him was way too neat and tidy. I had the overwhelming urge to mess him up.

I so badly wanted to reach over and untidy him. Make him just a lil dirrty. Maybe alot. Something called out to me screaming COMPLICATE ME! Something about him said,"i'm too neat, nice, clean, organized. Please, I beg you, Change me!" So maybe its all in my head. But I couldnt stand it. The urge to touch this guy was way too strong. Like I said. I'm not normally attracted to this type of guy. But I wanted to change his type very very much. I wanted to untuck his shirt, tussle his hair. I wanted to change the smile on his face to a smirk.

I have to go back there on Thursday. I bet he'll be there..

Labels: confessions, guys

Posted by Ivy :: 5:20 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

They never stop

I've had about all I can take of my inlaws. My nosey, back stabbing, better than everyone, idiotic in laws. First let me give you some background info on these people who judge everyone. They have no right to judge anyone. Not by any means. Lets start with my FIL.

He quit school in the 6th grade. I believe this was common back when he was a child though. However I question how he got to the 6th grade. He knows not how to write or read. He can however sign his name. He was one of 4 kids. His mother died when he was in early adulthood. His father was a useless prick as well. Mean, ruthless, callous, yet hard working. The man showed no love for anyone. Which was the basics for an iron worker back in the day. Back to FIL. This man became your typical bad ass and the cops knew him by name. He was in and out of bars in his late teens and early adult life. He was known around here as a bad ass. There was some major altercation one I have never been given the details of and he was told to settle downa nd start a life or he was going to see prison time. His options were army, family, prison. He chose family. However with limitations! He started dating dh's bio mom. They were married with the assumption of no kids. She already had one child coming into the marriage. FIL said NO MORE KIDS and when he found out she was pregnant with my now dh he beat her. They had a love hate relationship for a long while. 7-8 years. There are rumors of public fights between them. Him being a drunk and her being just as bad. He beat her alot. Though my now MIL will claim it never happened but every person i've ever met who has known this man said it did. When dh was 9 my FIL ran off with another woman. Left one day when he was supposed to be at work. Left a note stating he wasnt coming back and was gone over a year. I'm told he was gone longer but my Now MIL states this is false.. I'm not sure if I believe her.

Anyhow. He ran off with his best friends wife. He and his best friend had been friends for a very long time. Their kids were raised together. THey were in a business together and one day he ran off with his wife. The two men have not spoken since. My FIL worked construction for years after. Came in and out of dh's life. When he saw his ex wife was out of control and a drunk he came back into the picture moving him and his new wife in next door to dh's bio mom and dh. You can probably imagine the shit this caused. Dh's bio mom flew even further out of control. She was a drunk. Alcohol consumed her life. She was wallowing in heart ache. Writing this now I feel for her. I didnt years ago but she over came her problems later in life and eventually died of ovarian cancer. Its hard to not feel for her now. I know what she dealt with and what turned her into that former creature.

Anyhow.. FIL right? He tried to pick up where he had left off with Dh. Their relationship rocky. Dh has never forgiven him for running off with his now step mom. Did I mention that the lady FIL ran off with.. Was also his wife's best friend? See the 2 couples were best friends with each other. The 2 women did everything together and the 2 men did everything together. They were never apart.. It was like one big happy family only 2 people had no clue their spouses were cheating. Sounds confusing right.. Its pretty warped.. Not only did FIL run off with his best friends wife but he ran off with his wife's best friend. Anyhow..

Moving on. When I came into the picture almost 10 years ago FIL and dh got along half ass. We of course live next door to the inlaws. FIL is an old bitter man. A bitter shell of what he once was. An illiterate asshole who can't see past the tip of his nose. He thinks he is better than the world. Not only does he think he is better than the world. He has people who are scared of him and always has been. He has this no nonsense attitude and bullheaded ,"I'll kick your ass. you dont fuck with me" way about him. And people bow down to him. People do not fuck with him. Its like the mob. What he says goes. He almost has his own lil cult with his own lil rules. He now lives his days in pain. Pain that the drs say they can't find a cause for. They have "washed their hands of him" Hey its the drs words not mine! They literally could not find a reason for his pain. I however know the reason. Its payback for everything he has inflicted on every person he has ever hurt. Its payback for being what he has been and what he still is. I feel nothing for this man. No sympathy, no pity, NOTHING.

There are 3 people in this world that I know my FIL loves. And I know with out those 3 people his world crumbles. I have 2 of those people and he hates me for it. One is his son and one is his oldest grandchild. The others he could care less about. He cares about her and her only . The 3rd is his now wife. She swears he has never laid a hand on her. I dont know if I believe her. Its really not worth pressing. But he does love her. That much I can see. He holds her up on a pedestal above everyone else. However saying that.. Means little to me. He treats her like shit. He barks orders at her all day long. he doesnt do a damn thing for himself. NOT ONE THING. He has her get his tea, dial the phone for him and anything else he beckons for and she does it. Its how she was raised. I kid you not. He rattles the ice in his cup and she goes running to fetch him more tea..

The man is old school thinking. He believes women are to be seen not heard. He believes women should work at home and no where else. He believes men are to control the house and the world. Women are not to have opinions or freedoms. Men own them. Women are property. However this is not how he was raised. His mother was a very very intelligent woman. She was a RN. She worked every day and was known for her kindness and caring. Then after work she came home and dealt with everyone elses crap and believe me.. Those 4 kids dealt out some crap!

Now my FIL hates me. And I could care less. However I've given him no real reason to hate me. He liked me until I married dh. We lived together for a year and half before getting married. FIL had no problems with me till i signed the marriage certificate. At that point. I was property! To be owned not only by dh but by FIL as well. BUT i didnt think like that you see. I didnt bow down and kiss his ass nor my dh's. I didnt mold myself to my MIL's life. I didnt fit into their world. Not only did I refuse to cater to them as a slave but I had opinions and was independent. I had a voice. I knew politics and my rights and I had a job!!!!!!! I wasnt soft spoken. I didnt sit back quietly and OMG I owned a computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Computer is the devil!!!!!! The devil I tell ya! See I didnt fit his world.. I still dont. For this reason my FIL has stated the land we live on will never be given to my dh as long as he is married to me and FIL is alive. We've needed this land put into our name for many reasons (lower property taxes for one!). FIL has said no. He doesnt want me to be able to get it if we ever divorce.. I got news for the ass.. I could care less about his land or anything else he owns. I could care less about him. If he died in a day or two I wouldnt grieve. I would however feel for my kids. My heart would break for them because for some reason they love that ass. They are still too young to see the error of his ways. And I refuse to talk badly about him infront of them. I refuse to poison them with my words like he has done to them about me.

My MIL even though she ran off with her best friends husband.. Is not a bad person. She is just in a fucked up world. Yet she knows no other world. Just this one. She drives me insane though. She is nosey and can be rude. But all this is of course due to fil's prodding. He controls her every move. Please keep that in mind. He controls her thoughts and feelings. she has no opinions remember.

The other day my sister was over visiting. My MIL calls and says," Who is over at your house?" I could hear FIL in the back ground yelling,"It better not be who I think it is" and that I better tell them who is over here. I asked her why was she reporting to someone? She said,"because we think its ______ and you shouldn't have her over there! Not on our property! You know how (FIL) is."

I was flabbergasted. I was so mad I was blowing steam. I wanted to reach through the phone and knock FIL into next year.. This is MY HOUSE. They do not tell me who i can and cant have over here! Regardless! This happens every time a car is in my driveway and dh is at work. EVERY SINGLE TIME. They call to find out who is here. Or they walk outside and wait till the person leaves to see who it is. It never stops.

Labels: inlaws

Posted by Ivy :: 3:01 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, July 4, 2007

My crush..

One of my closest friends was telling me about a crush she has on this guy.. I thought Swell.. yes I said swell..LOL.. It made me realize I miss my crush.. I know I tried forever to get rid of the guy.. I couldn't wait to get rid of the guy. because he consumed my every thought. My every want and need was tied up to this guy.. His voice, his looks, his personality. HIM.. It was all tied up in HIM.. He'd look at me and my knees went weak. I started wondering if I could trust myself around him. I really think he knew all too well what was going on inside of me... He showed it in his smile.. OMG that smile! The way his mouth curved at one side when he was up to something.. The way his eyes lit up when he'd say something he shouldn't say but that very few people heard..

I miss the way he made me feel. I felt alive around him. On edge all the time. I wanted him all the time.. I miss him coming around at times.. I miss so much about him. I miss wanting someone that badly.. For some reason not being able to have him.. Didn't stop that feeling.. But when I became so consumed by him I wanted/needed to get away from him.. Yet now after all this time.. I miss him.. I miss his eyes..

Labels: confessions, guys

Posted by Ivy :: 9:45 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Crystal blue..

I dont find many people attractive. I'm actually a snob like that. I'm very picky in what I find attractive and I find very few people who strike my fancy.. (I find paris hilton to be a dog..sorry had to throw that in there..)But tonight Mr. Crystal blue eyes knocked on my door and let me tell you when I opened it.. I wasnt surprised to see the cops as much as I was surprised to be totally blown away and in awe of the cop that did the talking. He struck my fancy very much so.. Oh he was deliciously yummy and I wanted him in every way.. I couldnt help it. It took me a second to even hear what he was saying because I was drawn to those eyes.. They werent even baby blue.. They were a deep blue that was just so brilliantly yummy.. I know he probably thought I was either stoned out of my mind or crazy because it took me a second to hear him and I couldnt stop looking at him.. But he was so good looking. His eyes held me in a trance.. I just wanted to look at hime.. Now i know you arent happy knowing hte cops came and not what they wanted..LOL..

anyhow.. hubby shot a snake.. and the neighbors down the road thought someone was shooting at their house because he kept shooting not sure if he got it (it was dark out) and they called the cops not knowing who was shooting..they came out found out what was going on went and told the neighbors and left.. all is well but now I have a crush on mr crystal blue!

Posted by Ivy :: 11:23 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Monday, June 4, 2007

The "rescheduler"

I'm a "rescheduler". I'm "known" to reschedule.. I reschedule everything. I never make appointments.. I'm compulsive about it. Most of the time I make it to the resceduled appointment but I very very rarely make it to the original appointment.. There are a number of reasons.. But mainly i'm just horrible with schedules.. Planning things in advance is not my thing.. I never know what will come up.. I've got 4 kids and things change at the drop of a dime.. Even more when it comes to my husband.. I am not to be relied upon.. For anything..

Labels: confessions

Posted by Ivy :: 5:40 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Fine line between love and hate

Forgive me.. For I loath my FIL.

I can't stand my inlaws. I hate my fil with a passion. I loath the man to the very core of my being. I couldn't find it in myself to feel bad if he were to die. I understand to some this makes me a horrible person. Thats okay. I can live with that. I feel this way only about one person. He feels the same about me. He tried to kill me once. I have earned the right to hate this man and care very little about him.

Labels: confessions, hate

Posted by Ivy :: 8:16 AM :: 3 Comments:

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